come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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