Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Semen is not good for contacts.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
