i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
