are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
