p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
