if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
