at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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