Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
false alarm, still single
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