he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
