Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
