So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
