Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
her vagine was all disorganized.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
