She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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