hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
