That's intense
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Send help, water and tortillas.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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