what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
this will be a night to untag.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
