Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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