yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
