Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
