She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize