wake up i wanna do it froggy style
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
