girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
