Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize