I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I love you.
Bad choice
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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