I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
