just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
