I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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