distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
