Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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