Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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