Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
handjob tips. give me some.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
