how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
