I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
