Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
