i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
