Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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