Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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