Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
