Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
