Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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