Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
