WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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