What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
