He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
