for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Dick very happy bro
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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