I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
