I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
