JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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