I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
