I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
