The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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