i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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