Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
