The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
