I hope mine doesn't look like that
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
