I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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