it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
