I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
