she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Can you bring me the toilet please
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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