I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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