it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
