you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
