his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We named our party play list daddy issues
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
