and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
