Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm bleeding and have questions
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
