Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
