We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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